Third day into the 21-day meditation challenge and I’ve hit a snag. I got up as planned, fed the pups, started the coffee, then settled in comfortably on the sunrise soaked perch where I do my daily practice.
I tuned in to the meditation site and paused as Oprah’s mellifluous voice began wafting from my iPhone. She spoke about how we spend our lives making plans, focusing on structure and the idea that hard work and discipline are required to achieve success and therefore happiness. Then she posited that it’s actually in letting go and being still when one can actually realize the great abundance and success that the universe has in store for each of us.
From the recesses of my brain, a small sound … harumph.
There’s no question I’m a person who holds tightly to the belief that all things in this world happen for a reason. Granted, there are times, as I’ve noted before, when the reason may not actually be for me but rather I serve as a catalyst for someone else’s growth; but for the most part the idea of a universal direction and energy is not something with which I have a terribly hard time.
At least not until this morning.
For some reason when I heard the words spoken, something shifted … and again that now-not-so-little voice in the back of my head shattered my still nascent meditative state with a snort and sharp utterance … bullshit.
Rather than agreeing and pulling away from the slope into relaxed meditation on which I was beginning to descend, I asked the question – why bullshit? Why the skepticism on something for which I generally do hold a belief? I began to realize that I was having a had a time with the idea ofjust letting go and letting things happen – as if success and achievement required no more work than taking one’s hands off the wheel. It’s not like I’m a stranger to serendipity … but somehow this idea of effortless movement today froze my brain.
Focusing on my breathing and on the centering thought Deepak had noted for today’s session (Abundance flows easily and freely to me) and bringing my mind back over and over to the day’s
sanskrit mantra (Sat, Chit, Ananda; which means: xistence, consciousness, bliss), that persnickety skeptic busily harumphing and rolling its eyes in the back of my head began to relax.
It’s not as though we cede things entirely to this universal energy, but rather it’s about being still and allowing ourselves to be present. It is in the stillness that we get to hear the true voice and true thoughts that can and should guide our actions. The key, is that we must take action. I may need to cede the greater direction to something larger than myself, but that doesn’t make me a passive participant in the journey. I am responsible for showing up, for being accountable but really most of all for allowing myself the freedom to let go.